13 – Dreaming of the Past

Between this couple, Xiao Cao inexplicably felt as though she had been force-fed a mouthful of dog food. She lowered her gaze, focusing her eyes on her nose, and her nose on her heart.

(TL: The phrase “塞了一嘴狗粮” (literally “stuffed with dog food”) means witnessing PDA (public displays of affection.))

After washing up, she finally took out Xue Tingyu’s memorial tablet, carefully wiped it clean, and although she didn’t burn incense, she offered fruit.

She stared at it absentmindedly for a moment, then turned back to see her mother’s complex expression.

Han Shi quickly masked her emotions, revealing a tender, motherly demeanor, as if she wasn’t particularly concerned. Xiao Cao tried to return a smile, but it seemed somewhat forced.

Han Shi thoughtfully redirected Xiao Cao’s attention, and they got into bed together to rest.

Han Shi was excited and wanted to talk with Xiao Cao all night, both to learn more about Xiao Cao’s situation and to express her own longing. However, she noticed that Xiao Cao seemed tired, and immediately pushed these thoughts aside, feeling remorseful.

Xuan’er had been busy all day and had given her grandmother such a long massage; she must be exhausted and should rest early.

Except when immersed in studying and research, forgetting about time, Xiao Cao usually had a very regular schedule. Over the past three years, even though she was sleeping alone, she had still grown accustomed to having someone around.

Xiao Cao and Xue Tingyu officially became husband and wife. That night, they lay on the same bed, sharing a cotton quilt, just chatting. In fact, there was really nothing else they could do.

Xiao Cao felt quite awkward. After realizing that her young husband Xue Tingyu was actually nervous and embarrassed but trying to appear calm, she suddenly became composed. She thought to herself that she was the older cow eating tender grass, which felt like a gain for her.

Then, she mischievously teased her young husband.

Xiao Cao didn’t understand why they had to eat and sleep together, but since they were both young, she adapted well. They slept on the same bed for seven years without a single day of interruption. From the initial discomfort to later feeling out of place without him by her side, it had all changed.

However, just when they were about to prepare for the bridal chamber, Xiao Cao suddenly realized what seemed to be an important matter.

Over the years of sharing a bed with Xue Tingyu, he should have shown certain physiological reactions. It was said that at thirteen or fourteen, a young man should have been equipped with a maid to serve in the bridal chamber. But at eighteen, he had remained very proper every night, not even attempting to rub against her.

In the winter, she still liked to burrow into his arms. Xiao Cao circled around him; although she wasn’t fully grown yet, she was already quite impressive.

If it weren’t for the times she checked his pulse and knew he didn’t have any issues in that regard, she would have really started to wonder.

Even so, Xiao Cao’s gaze couldn’t help but wander to a certain part of his body.

Xue Tingyu seemed to know what she was thinking, reaching out to pinch her face, “Little girl, what are you daydreaming about? I cherish you, but now that my little Wangyou has finally grown up, I don’t have to put myself in a difficult position anymore.”

Perhaps because of the topic at hand, Xiao Cao felt her “old face” getting a bit hot, her heartbeat racing a little too fast. She directly reached out to cover his face, then pushed him away and angrily walked off.

Xiap Cao didn’t even realize how childish she was being at that moment, and she had often been quite immature over the years. Because her living environment was simple, the things she kept in her heart were limited.

One could say she had grown taller without growing mentally. However, since her body hadn’t fully matured, and the hormones within her were quite different from those of an adult, it was completely normal for her mental state to be weaker due to her physical condition. Xiao Cao thought that even if she acted childish and did silly things, she did not have to feel any shame about it whatsoever.

Xue Tingyu could only helplessly and indulgently watch her back as he chuckled softly and followed her.

Han Shi couldn’t sleep, so she turned to look at Xiao Cao’s sleeping face.

The bedside lamp was dim, not disturbing Xiao Cao’s sleep and not affecting her line of sight. Xiao Cao resembled her a lot, but Han Shi felt that her daughter was exceptionally beautiful, and she could never get enough of looking at her.

Xiao Cao turned over in her sleep, and Han Shi reached out to pull the thin blanket that had slipped off her back over her again. Xiao Cao, however, nestled closer to her embrace, softly murmuring, “Tingyu…” in her dream.

If it weren’t for Han Shi knowing the name “Xue Tingyu,” she probably wouldn’t have understood what her daughter was talking about.

Han Shi’s gaze became complicated once again; her daughter was still so infatuated. She had originally thought of finding a good family for her, but if her daughter continued to hold onto memories of her late husband, this matter would need to be seriously considered.

However, thinking that her daughter was only eighteen, at the peak of her youth, she couldn’t let her be alone for a lifetime. Perhaps they could delay things for another couple of years; after all, her daughter had just returned, and she couldn’t bear to marry her off so soon. As for her age—what’s the big deal? There were plenty of talented young men from families of lesser status.

Han Shi’s tangled thoughts gradually led her to feel sleepy.


In her dreams, Xiao Cao not only dreamt of the few days before she was eternally separated from Xue Tingyu, but also of earlier times: studying together, occasionally playing together, Xiao Cao sometimes playing pranks, and him always being tolerant of her. Yes, her little husband was like a little adult, seemingly without an rebellious adolescent phase.

Intermittent, clear yet blurred… The dream seemed to freeze-frame at the moment of first meeting.

The eleven-year-old boy, though sickly-looking, was exceptionally delicate and beautiful. He was well-behaved and quiet, smiling even before he spoke, which made people feel quite at ease.

Xiao Cao was thinking at that time that once he grew up, he would likely become a heartthrob, not knowing how many girls would lose their appetite and sleep over him.

Clearly infused with tenderness, Xiao Cao unconsciously shed tears in her sleep.

The next morning, Xiao Cao and Han Shi basically woke up in succession.

“Xuan’er, did I wake you up? It’s still early; you can continue to sleep,” Han Shi said, treating Xiao Cao like a child, reaching out to pat her.

Xiao Cao, still a bit dazed for a moment, quickly became fully awake. “Mother, I’ve already had enough sleep. I estimate that this is about the same time I usually get up.”

Han Shi didn’t insist and had someone assist Xiao Cao in getting up.

Letting Xiao Cao suddenly become a complete “waste” was indeed a bit of a challenge, so she took matters into her own hands, with the maidservant stepping in at the right moments to assist.

They changed into a completely different outfit, but Xiao Cao had no awkwardness about not knowing how to wear it.

After tidying up, Han Shi looked around and nodded in satisfaction. “Xuan’er, mother is going to see your father, and then I’ll visit your grandmother. This courtyard will be the place you live in from now on. You can explore it by yourself; if there’s anything you don’t like, just tell mother, and I’ll have someone make changes. If there’s anything you need to add, feel free to mention it. We’ll have breakfast together later, alright?”

“It’s alright, Mother, you go ahead and be busy. Don’t worry about me.” Xiao Cao had always been adaptable, to the point where some people called her thick-skinned in this regard. Well, being thick-skinned is fine as long as other parts aren’t also thick, so it was all good.

Han Shi moved efficiently, having fully staffed Xiao Cao’s place with servants.

Xiao Cao also took this opportunity to get to know them well, after all, barring any unexpected circumstances, they would likely be serving Xiao Cao for a considerable time, and in a sense, would be her intimate companions.


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Comments

One response to “13 – Dreaming of the Past”

  1. Sonntam Avatar
    Sonntam

    Exciting novel! I love the protagonist and look forward to see the male interest.

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